I’m sorry, you guys, I know it’s been ages since I’ve written a proper rambling post but I’ve just been writing so much other stuff lately that the letters on the keyboard are starting to swim. Words keep following me home and harrassing me while I’m trying to relax. Read More »
Thas’ right, the Yenta’s back in her old classroom, herding the little Jewish kindergarteners into circle time and picking sequins out of my hair on Sundays. Read More »
Oh, the boys are back and they’re nicer than ever: The 2012 Nice Jewish Guys Calendar is out and ready for you to take it home, pin it up and knit it some socks. You can spend a whole year with these mensches who love their mothers and always wipe down the toilet seat. Read More »
I suppose it’s inevitable that the “Sh*t Girls Say” meme infected the Jewish world. It is not, kinehora , in the form of a wince-worthy Jersey girl spouting stereotypes in something tagged “Sh*t Jewish Girls Say” (though I’m sure it’s being produced somewhere as I write. Read More »
Well, lookee here, it’s halfway through January and I just cleaned the menorahs. I count this is as healthy, as I tend to be rather OCD about undone chores (El Yenta Man calls it “naggy freak syndrome.”) So far in 2012, I have been experimenting with defying my natural neuroses in order to live a more relaxed, enjoyable life. Read More »
As promised, the women of the beleaguered Jerusalem suburb responded to the issue of gender segregation by gettin’ all footloose on Friday to Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” : Of course, a bunch of Orthodox women dancing together isn’t exactly Read More »
So, this may be soooo 2011, but maybe some of you haven’t heard about the ultra-Orthodox a-holes the Jerusalem suburb of Beit Shemesh who spit on an eight year-old girl last week…for going to school. Oh, and they also called her a whore. Seriously, look at her. Read More »
Oh, you know, just one more end-of-the-year list to add to the bloggysphere. While Yentaland did not involve any freed Israeli soldiers or major disasters, there were a few milestones worth noting. Here are the top stories of 2011 in my own head: 1. Read More »
As far as I’m concerned, punk rock and Chanukah make a fantastic combination—must be the hammering drum beats. Thank you to my favorite rabblerouser Sierra Salin for introducing me to the The Shlomones , with their wicked take on “Time Warp.” Guess they coulda called themselves “Schlocky Hora”? Heheh. Read More »
Help…I’m trapped in a house full of spinning dreidels and an almost eight-year old who won’t stop singing “Domo Arigato Mister Roboto”…it’s a fave on Rock Band at her friends’ house and she brought it home like a germ. I am not kvetching. Read More »
OK, so the Menorah of the Week is not actually a menorah. But it still involves a flame and Jewish symbology and thus makes a fabulous gift for the Festival of Lights, nu? A clever crafting of hand-wrought steel, shadow and light, the Tree of Life Read More »
Apologies that things in Yenta world have not slowed down enough this week for any written navelgazing as work, laundry, Chanukah preparations and dealing with a hideous flea infestation on the pug’s tushy have really been cramping my style. Read More »
I wish I could say I’m decorating the house and hanging blue lights and choreographing the dance program I’m supposed to teach the Shalom Schoolers. Read More »
Look, I’m no intellectual giant. I have to check every “virus alert” on Snopes.com. I follow shiny things into sewers. I bob my head to the terrible pop music I’m subjected to while driving Hebrew school carpool. And as you know, I think most Jewish holiday parodies are hilarious. Read More »
Oy, Black Friday, Cyber Monday…sounds like extra Passover plagues, nu? I come from a long line of bargain hunters, but trampling each other at Wal-Mart might be an indicator that shopping has become a sickness in America. Read More »
Oh, you know I love me some Jewish parody, and it’s been a looong time since one has made me chortle like this spin-off from a bunch of hilarious Israeli Russians in Tel Aviv. Then again, I laugh at Little Yenta Girl’s poop jokes every single time , so maybe my sense of humor is warped beyond repair. Read More »
This week’s moral dilemma is brought to you by a bunch of bubbies: I don’t know how this happened, but suddenly my closet contains three fur coats. Well, if you want to get all sartorially technical, two coats and a vest. But still, it’s a lot of animal to be hanging with my J. Crew peacoat and El Yenta Man’s plastic rain anorak. Read More »
Every year the Jewish blogosphere buzzes about how Jews really aren’t supposed to celebrate Halloween because it’s Christian Pagan bad for the digestion not Jewish. Some rabbis say it’s OK to give out candy but not to dress up; others nix the whole deal and say ignore the meshuggeneh goyim and save your costumes for Purim. I say, FEH . Read More »
A few weeks back I was asked by the cool kids of Seersucker Live , Savannah’s no-pretension literary group, to write a little something based on the illustration at left. And read it. In front of people. Read More »
Ben Stiller and Andy Samberg did a priceless skit on SNL about breaking the fast: Read More »
I got to schtick in plenty of Yiddish in this week’s Connect , doing my best to educate Savannah on the ways of the tribe: Here’s an excerpt from “What the @$#! is Rugelach?” , a little overview of this Sunday’s Shalom Y’all Jewish Food Festival: First of all, you have to say it right. Read More »
It’s so heartening that transgender folk are finally finding their way into our collective souls. Even as a relatively straight married lady, even when I was a little girl in combat boots, I have always understood that the duality of gender is just too simple for beings as amazing and creative as we are. Read More »
I don’t know how the observant balabustas do it. Several J-mamas posted this photo on Facebook, and even our heretic family can totally relate. Too many holidays, too little time…and so much going in the (and my) Jewish world. Read More »
Tonight begins the holiday of Sukkot , and once again, I am an epic fail. Every fall, I really think, “THIS is the year we are going to build a sukkah!” But then I remember how much bickering ensued when El Yenta Man and I were building the chicken Read More »
Tomorrow evening brings us to the culmination of the Days of Awe, a time when Jews eschew food, drink and, if they’re way hardcore, toothbrushing . Fasting on Yom Kippur helps us focus on atonement and lets God knew we’re serious about teshuvah (repentance.) Tomorrow is also my 40th birthday. Read More »
The fanatical zealots of the anti-circumcision movement got a bitter taste of their own medicine when Governor Jerry Brown effectively banned circumcision bans in California over the weekend by signing AB768 , a bill that precludes local and city governments from establishing legislation that would make it illegal to have a child circumcised. Read More »
Holy Moses, it’s almost 5772 and I haven’t made my honeycake yet! Life been as twisty as a ram’s horn lately as I recover from another trip out West (Dad’s rehab is going well) and continue to find the groove at the new gig (I launched The Civil Society Column last week. Read More »
Another challah-worthy Rosh Hashanah jam featuring some adorable yeshiva boys with some wicked (and I mean that in most kosher way possible) dance moves from Aish.com : There is something about breakdancing and tzitzit that I just find incredibly captivating. Read More »
The Yenta family has found a new source of endless entertainment and contention in our new iPad. It was ostensibly purchased so that we could communicate with my dad via FaceTime, with the idea it would be positive stimulation as he recovers from his “brain event” a month ago. Read More »
Architecture and historic preservation are BIG deal in Savannah. Looking at pretty houses is probably one of the top reasons people visit, second only to eating at Paula Deen’s restaurant. Read More »
Rosh Hashanah is still weeks away, but it’s just never too early to start shakin’ some booty for the season! Thanks to Facebook friend Mindy N. Read More »
We’ve had some tumultuous changes over at the home synagogue this summer. The rabbi of 20+ years departed after months of drama worthy of its own reality show ( “The Real Meshuggenehs of Savannah “?) and the congregation is finally peeking its collective head out to choose a new spiritual leader. Read More »
The Jewish calendar has a funny way of corresponding to what we need in real life: The lights of Chanukah in the dead of winter, the wild abandon of Purim just as spring comes around, the curious lack of important holidays during the lazy days of summer. Read More »
There is no color palette like an Arizona sunset, all cantelopes and indigos and lilacs. There’s more to the view from the foot of my father’s hospital bed. There are tangles of tubes running from my dad to blinking machines. Men and women in scrubs and sneakers rush by occasionally. Read More »
There is no color palette like an Arizona sunset, all cantelopes and indigos and lilacs. There’s more to the view from the foot of my father’s hospital bed. There are tangles of tubes running from my dad to blinking machines. Men and women in scrubs and sneakers rush by occasionally. Read More »
The notion of “homeschool” always confounds me. There’s home, where you sleep and eat and watch t.v. in your underpants. Read More »
It can be a rude shock to come home after a dreamy vacation, but it helps when that first Monday is Tu B’Av , the Jewish holiday of Love. Read More »
How wonderfully fortuitous to find this “Mountain Jew” t-shirt from ShalomShirts.com just as we’re off to retrieve Yenta boy from camp in North Carolina. A month in the mountains is a long time—I wonder if he’ll come back with a beard? Speaking of Mountain Jews, I recently received a link to an Examiner. Read More »
I’d kinda been waiting around for some confirmation on the rumors, but since no one’s denied them in the last few weeks, I may as well let y’all know that Natalie Portman and her thousand-footed husband, Benjamin Millepied, have named their baby Aleph . Aleph. Not, as Life in Israel points out, Alf . Read More »
Oh, Amy . You sexy, filthy thing. You charmed us with your old-school bebop style and sailor-swearing Cockney chatter. You repulsed us with your hideous heroin-skinny limbs and helpless alcoholic pathos. You introduced us to Mr. Donny Hathaway and the term “fuckery. Read More »
It was shock last week to read about the demise of JDub Records . This is the label responsible for launching Matisyahu into the limelight and a major player in the resurgence of the “it’s-cool-to-be-a-quirky-Jew” movement that arose out of NYC around in the early Y2Ks. Read More »
*Here’s Part One . Knock yourself out. Just don’t wake me up from my nap. I know I must be old because Twitter gives me diarrhea. Read More »
A rousing “challa!” to my favorite Eco-Girl and cousin Patricia Dines for turning me to Tuba Loons Kosher Greeting Cards ! Nothing like some offbeat Jewish hilarity to lighten a heavy week—especially when combined with chicken humor (“Altar Cocker”? heheheheh. Read More »
I’m feeling kind of mopey after dropping Yenta Boy off at camp yesterday. I know I shouldn’t be. After all, a three-and-half week reprieve from a pre-adolescent smartmouth who’s obsessed with his hair contains a multitude of positives: No bickering! Read More »
It’s summer, and most retired people are kvetching about the heat, wondering what’s for dinner or discussing barium enemas. But only one person I know manages to do all three while performing surgery under dire conditions in Africa: My indefatigable dad. For the last four summers , “Dr. Read More »
Since I haven’t been chilling at the JEA Senior Lunch Bunch as of late, I’ve been needing an opportunity to get my fix of Savannah’s hilarious yentas. Read More »
It always makes my stomach a little barfy when lists are published “proving” how Jewish people are smarter and/or more accomplished than any other group of people that inhabit the Earth. Read More »
A whoop of joy for Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, who has been released from the hospital after being shot point-blank in the head last January in Tucson. Read More »
Summer has begun, which means there are little yentas all UP in the big one’s bidness, keeping me from sitting at the computer with incessant whining earnest pleas to go blackberry picking and dress up the dog in American Girl clothes. Read More »
It’s Thursday, and for the past five years, that’s meant lunch with my mother-in-law. I used to write about how we used to kibbitz with the seniors at the JEA —good times. Even as my MIL lost her ability to speak, then walk, then feed herself, we would still roll her up to our usual table and tuck in for some chicken and what was once broccoli. Read More »
Sure, this could be a post about Anthony(’s) Weiner . I must be teetering over the edge of a hugely un-hip middle age, because all I could think about yesterday during Breitbart’s sadistic unveiling and the congressman’s teary, embarrassing press conference was “Oh, his poor mother. Read More »
I normally try to abstain from mixing writing gigs (and metaphors), but this piece appeared a few months ago in the literary edition of the awesome art journal OUTLET and I wanted to share it with a bigger audience. Read More »
Listen up, it’s penis time. You may have heard by now that the city of San Francisco has put a measure on the ballot for November 2012 to ban male circumcision . If it passes, it would become a misdemeanor to snip the tip of anyone under 18, punishable with a $1000 fine and/or up to a year in jail. Read More »
As one of the world’s few African-American Jewish rappers, haredi hip-hop maestro Y-Love is used to jumping the boundaries of stereotypes around Jewish ethnicity. It’s the subject of his cranking new video “This Is Unity”—check it: Love the reminder that Jews come in all colors and observance levels. Read More »
Boo-YAH! The promised End of the World came and went and we’re all still here , ain’t we? But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t enraptured this weekend: After dropping off the kinder for their last Shalom School of the year to practice for their tribute to Read More »
Here in Slowvannah party people have a problem: Bars are open as late as you can hang, but there’s nothing to eat north of Victory after 10pm but ick pizza that looks and tastes suspiciously like snot on cardboard. It’s an entrepreneurial no-brainer, really: Drunk people need food. Read More »
Geez, I’ve been so self-absorbed lately that Saturday’s upcoming Apocalypse totally slipped my radar. Read More »
Former Ohio mechanic and Nazi camp guard John Demjanjuk has been sentenced to five years in a German prison for his role in the murder of almost 28,000 people in Poland during WWII . At 91, he was so sick and fragile that he could barely sit up for his own trial. Read More »
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